Self-Pity and Serving Others

A very wise friend of mine said that the best way to get over self-absorption and feeling sorry for oneself is to serve others. I had never quite heard someone put that concept in that way, but after thinking about it some more, is absolutely true. Starting to fret constantly about whether people are mad at you, or are looking at you and judging you, and on and on, means that there is too much time spent thinking about yourself. Innocent narcissism, but narcissism nonetheless. Turning your attention to others and serving them takes the focus off of yourself.

I fall into the trap of self-absorption and pity frequently. Left to myself and too many thoughts and I will start to go down those pity party paths of, “Why me this? Why did that happen to me? WAHHH!” She has a point. I, therefore, have too much time if there is time to feel sorry for myself and ignore all of the other blessings in my life.

What am I doing to combat this tendency to self-obsession? I’m heeding the call to lead a book/bible study for other moms about what the Bible teaches about parenting and child-parent relationships and what they look like in God’s design. Part of leading is praying and focusing on the other moms in my group and serving them. They are going to have needs that I will be called to pray about.

I am also searching for ways to serve my family. How can I serve my children and be the mother that they need and is going to teach them to be citizens of this world? How can I serve my husband so that our marriage grows stronger and he is encouraged to go out and be the best he can be and help give him a home where he can be free of anxiety and worry over providing for us?

Lastly, I am searching for ways to serve my community. I’ve found that topics that touch my soul include helping unwed teen mothers make the choice for life. I am also righteously and passionately horrified at the slavery that exists in this world and this country(!) today. Sexual slavery and labor bondage is alive and billion dollar industries. One of my friends and I are looking for advocacy and awareness opportunities.

Between my family, church activities, Bible sturdy, and finding other advocacy programs, I won’t have time to be anything but humble and heeding the calls of where my time and energy will be best served.

***And an added update since I wrote this and saved as a draft, my husband found out his contract will be ending much sooner than expected at his work. This is a perfect time to feel sorry for myself and my family as this will be the 3rd year in a row a job has ended before the holidays. But what does that do? Nothing. I might need to have an occasional whine, but then I need to move on. We’ll pull through this.***


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